Mar 16, 2004
stupid...havetohaveatitleness!!
hey hey all you.. people out there... yeah i thought it was about time for an update...i'm at school right now...bored as hell.. but meh...whatyougunnadoaboutit and stuff... so yeah. things are okay .. i went to thomas's regional wrestling over the weekend... he lost is first and third match... the first one... the guy dropped him on his head and stuff...i started freaking out... he wasnt like moving and stuff...then the dude put him in a head lock and ig uess thomas started blacking out... hes reaaaally super sore... he cant even lift his arm right now... its really bad....
thats... about all thats happened in the last couple of days...boring... but whatever.....lol... i better go tho..i'll update more when i get home.
Heather
Posted at 10:49 am by mestupchick
Mar 10, 2004
hahahhaah hahahahahaha ahahahahahahaah i found a website that has cheered me up fantastically ... its ... made me laugh... so hard....woo... and ... you know htos quiznos subs puppet thigns??? its them... heres the linkage... if anyone wants to go:
spongmonkeys and if that doesnt work, copy and paste the link following this in the task bar and stuff... its http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/
enjoy!!! lol ( i have a fuct up sence of humor)
Ciao
Posted at 05:45 pm by mestupchick
okay, why do i let things...well up and eat inside of me... this whole... thomas-going-to-hang-out-in-a-sauna-with-the-chick-i-really-do-not-trust thing...is really getting to me... last year... this chick thats on his wrestling team tried to break up my sister and her ex, like i said... but... i still...dont trust her... i never have...and prolly never will..i'm prolly overreacting...i know i am... because... i really dont know... it doesnt seem to phaze him that he'll be sitting there in a swealtering place, with a half naked chick, in an extremely hot place....fuck..i'm overreacting n i should just shut the fuck up right now...its just that if anything does happen...ive given thomas all of my heart....and that would... just break me...i just...really wish i wasnt here any more...
watch... tomorrow when this all thomas-going-to-a-sauna thing, nothing WILL happen... and i'll look like a fucking fool for even THINKING that way...and i will hate myself even more than i do now....i just wish that ... i could stop thinking like this...
Posted at 04:24 pm by mestupchick
Mar 8, 2004
...stop pretending you care...
this weekend...was...okay... i spose you could say...friday night i was over at melissa/thomas's til 12, thomas came home with me, then saturday i went to guitar and then we went back to melissas. Tyler was there before we got there. Melissa n i had to babysit that night, so the guys had a night to themselves. the first half of the night was... ughtastic... one of the kids had ADHD... aand was running around like he was a dog *hes 13....* and finally, after he had slowed down a bit, he sat infront of the comp and calmed down... melissa, and the other 13 year old and i played cheat and watched a few movies and the dog-kid crashed around 11...i crashed around 2...and then in the morning, melissas mom came and picked us up around 8, and we got to melissas/my second home around 9 cus of the roads. the boys got up a littel bit after we got there...and later on we played a game ;) lol *truth, dare, double dare or consequence* that was fun... tyler got picked up around 12:30, then my mom came and picked thomas and i up around 1 or 2
we had supper .. and stuff... thomas spent the night...we had school... i had 2 tests *english and math*... today was a psycho/anachists dream... first someone lit a roll of toilot paper in the boys bathroom on fire... then at lunch...this big... glass thing...shattered...then my chem desks legs broke sometime over the day... and the german foreign exchange student's desk broke while he was in it...
on friday thomas was gunna lose 9 pounds to get at the top of the weight category he wanted...and he wasnt gunna eat on sunday... so me being the overprotective-mother-girlfriend got upset and angry and stuff and he didnt do it... then today at weighins he gained 14 pounds since the last match, which was 2 weight categories...so he has to *well...he wants to* lose 14 pounds before friday..cus theres regional wrestling on friday in a town called esterhazy...i really...dont like that idea... and stuff...
but...one thing...thats kinda...gettting to me is ... him and this chick on the wrestling team... are going to a sauna on thursday to lose some weight...and like i completely and utterly trust thomas and stuff... but i really...really dont trust this chick...shes tried to break my sister and her ex up ... and i swear i see her chekcing thomas out... she has a bf in regina and everything... but i see her checking him out a lot... and fuck... i really dont know any more... i'm just being an obsessive-paranoid-overprotective girlfriend. i really...have to stop it...
saturday... i had a break down...just telling thomas everything... cus... just something one of my friends said in her blog... was getting to me... her saying that no one puts any effort into making plans, and how shes so left out...and how shes giving up on her friends and how they can all "go fuck eachother" or soemthing... i told him... how i just hated being here...and how i dont wanna be here any more... and how allthere is in this world is hate, violence, discrimination...war... justeverything bad... fighting... thats another thing thats been buggin me tonight... i just...really...have given up on everything...
i dont wanna be here any more...
Posted at 08:54 pm by mestupchick
Mar 4, 2004
fucking..hell...and stuff...
This weeks been okay i guess....i was...extremely hyper today and yesterday...then i started...thinking...about things... involving the ones i love the most... i dont understand people...i dont understand this world....its so... fukcing stupid....for lack of better words... what the hell is up with peopel?? why do they do... such... harsh...cruel... hurtful things to the people they love?? the ones that are tehir own flesh and blood?? i really really think...someone should go to social services with...some things...cus..its really getting out of hand...i dont know if ive talked about what i'm talking about before in here... but yeah... just... abuse and stuff... i really dont understand it all... taking anger...frustration...rage...out on the ones you love...your own flesh and blood...is just fucking wrong... why the hell cant PEOPLE GET THAT IN THEIR GOD DAMN HEADS!!!!!its just...not right...and i wish people who do do that to their loved ones..would be castated...put in jail...and beaten like they do to THEIR loved ones...see how fucking much THEY can take...stupid pricks....
okay...i'm done...with that rant... i dont know how i started thinkin about it...but i was...
okay...i know i'm always bitching about...how i want to be happy...nd not sad/depressed and such...but...when i'm happy...as retarded as this sounds...i want to be depressed...is there something seriously wrong with me???
Heather
Posted at 09:29 pm by mestupchick
Feb 24, 2004
havnt updated...for a while :|
yeah...so... i havnt updated for a while...sorry about that...to anyone that ... actually reads my stupid blog about bitching and complaing and such...
so...the last couple of days have been...okay.... my dog is... not doing to good... its not like shes dying or anything...shes just...kinda ... sick and such... shes got something wrong with her ass...as funny as that sounds... but she does... an absess or something in her left anal gland and such... then today i came home from school and founa buncha bile on the back door rug and such.... hmmm....
i told one person how ive been feeling...and she told me why she didnt come over and such... and yeah... oh well... if ... she doesnt want to... then thats up to her. i just...wish she would ... come over.... and stuff....i havnt talked to the other or anything... but... yeah... its bothering me there a lot... and then she says things in her journal type dealy on here.... and i know i do them and such... but she should bring them up to me...instead of letting me read them in her journal and stuff...its just...bothering me... shes saying things and stuff....and yeah.... i'm just gunna leave it at that...cus i'm repeating things...
i got my braces tightened yesterday....lime green and black (i know its not black, but it wouldnt show up so blah)....wooo....not really....god i need a life....
thomas was over for the weekend and such... it ws cool... i wish he were here right now... but i gotta get used to not having him here again n stuff... oh well.... i'm a fuckin wimp...as previously stated in earlier posts....and such
and yeah...thats... it... for now...i'll try and write in here more and such... ttfn....
Posted at 04:31 pm by mestupchick
Feb 17, 2004
so ... yesterday... just for the hell of it....i made a survey on blunttruthgame.com just to find out what my friends really thought of me....i didnt think i would be crying over the results... but as you can probably tell... me being the fucking baby i am, i am crying.
one of the questions i put on the quiz... was do i use people. i just looked back... and someone gave me a 4....i have an idea as to who might have.... but i'm not going to say who it is because i dont want to point fingers. that wsa like a stab in the back....a slap in the face.... it says 9 people have taken my quiz, but only 7 have.... another person... on that same question ... gave me a 10... i'm thinking...and praying to... a god of somesort... that my friends actually dont think i use them... am i that heartless??? am i that inconsiderate...despicable....rude...vile???
there are many things that have been bugging me... for one... its the same thing as last entry.....this friend thing.... one friend... never seems to wanna come over....theyre always sick...and stuff... and the other....always says we never do anything and stuff.... but whenever i do wanna do something i'm the one that has to call them... and they usually concur to do something...but friendship is not a one way street...they have to make the effort to call and ask if i would like to do something too... i know someones gunna say that i should be doing that too...but with that one friend, i am the one that has to call and see if they want to do anything, they dont make the effort, and they wonder why they dont get to do anything....maybe you should call people....or ask if they wanna do something...instead of leaving it up to them to ask YOU.
i'm sorry...if im pissing either of the people off that i'm talking about... but...its really bugging me... and i know i shouldnt talk about the whole never-doing-anything-except-with-thomas thing cus i'm not an angel... but... when i do try and get together with them... theyre either sick... or they dont put the effort forth to see if i would like to do something with them....
i really am not making sence......and i reallly... do feel like the most despicable friend on the face of this earth right now....i should...probably talk to them about this....but you know what... i'm scared.... i'm scared of what they'll say... how they'll react... i dont want to lose them as friends...they mean way to much to me....if i lost them.... i would die....i swear.....i wish i were dead right now....but that wont be happening.....
i'm gunna go......cry...in my room...and stuff...cus like my other entry said...i'm a baby...and this is the only way i can deal with this....and stuff...
Posted at 01:42 pm by mestupchick
Feb 16, 2004
yeah...like the title says...i'm a friggen baby...i just read my last couple entries.... grow up heather...grow up....get a life...do...SOMETHING....dont dwell on things...blah...
anyways.friday, didnt do dick all... went shopping and got thomas's vday gift and such. well..an add on to his gag gift...well..wait...never mind... melissa and i got tyler and thomas boxers as a gag gift....and then i got thomas.... chocolates and convorsation or... sweet hearts...whatever you call them. and also got him a card...it was... a stupid corny-but-funny-to-me type cards... it had... a crapilly drawn heart on the front...on like...lined paper it looked like...and said somethign along the lines of "just a little card to wish you a happy valentines day"...and on the inside, was something along the lines of "well... maybe its not the kind of card that you set out on the coffee table for everyone to see...but its got a heart on it dammit... that counts for something... right? right?? hello???" and yeah. then on the side i wrote a note type dealy to him... just telling him how much i love him and blah blah balh..its not that important to people so i'll stop.
Saturday was also a dirtbred concert at the exchange. i kinda wanted to go, but seeing as i forgot about it, and had plans with thomas and melissa and tyler anyways... its all good... i'll just go to the next one which is... sometime in march or something?? oh well. its all good...
...so...i had a breakdown type dealy yesterday...just....a day that i was...selfconcious about ... my body... and stuff...and just...totally hated it...and i still do...its just... yeah...i was... just in a blahish type mood i guess....
i'm trying my damndest to spend time with my friends.... but none fo them seem to want to... i wanted to have a ... girls-night/day-out type dealy with them... but ... they ... didnt really catch on or wahtever....i guess...ive ... just... been the way i was for a while,as in... having to do EVERYTHING with thomas... that they dont seem to care to want to hang out because they think i'm gunan wanna have thomas there, or just...dont WANT to hang out with me any more... god....i...dont know any more...why do they even consider me a friend??? i mean seriously... blah... i dont wanna start crying and contemplating again...so i'm just gunna quit....and listen to Last Resort....good plan heather....not...
if...one of my friends reads this and actually WANTS to get together...please tell me... cus i ... really dont know who cares and doesnt....to hang out and stuff....and if you dont... you dont have to tell me then...
maybe i'll finish my poem i started writing like last week and stuff.... hmm....
bye...
Heather
Posted at 12:11 pm by mestupchick
Feb 9, 2004
can someone tell me... how to be a good friend?i've forgotten...
one of my very best friends just... informed me... that i dont talk to her any more... and that thomas consumes my time up along with school..... i never....realized ... that i did this... and i feel like shit...... like seriously... i shouldnt do that.... i should have equal ammounts of time with my friends and thomas and school. and as harsh as this sounds...thomas shouldnt consume my time with my friends.... would someone please shoot me.... it'll do more good than bad... i'm serious..... my mom told me not to "let this get to me" but i seriously cant help it... friends come before boyfriends..... oh god i dont know anymore....
Posted at 04:31 pm by mestupchick
Jan 30, 2004
so this week was supposed to be finals and stuff... but... on tuesday we didnt go cus the buses wernt running... wednesday the exact same reson...thursday was a scheduled "semester break" and friday...aka today.... was supposed to be period 3&4... but due to the weather... it didnt go...again.... and the school didnt ahve te decensy to call us/let us know that there was no school today...again... and i know i shouldnt be bitching and stuff cus i get a 6 day holiday... but i mean seriously... iwanna get my last final *period 3 physics 20* done and over with cus i'm sick and tired of this...
from tuesday night to thursday night, iwas over at melissas just hanging out and stuff... i get home, and automatically its me getting bitched at... my parents just got home a little less than an hour ago from grocery shopping *in which they didnt get ANYTHING good....* and i had just gotten on the phone with melissa and my mom comes in and tells me not to be on for too long. i understood what she meant and stuff, and about 5 mins later she comes back and starts bitching at me about how ive been on the god damn phone for too long..... a big 10 or 15 mins...woopdidoo... and then so i am now in a bitchy mood... my backs killing me, and now i have to clean a fucking bathroom. from the moment iwoke up, to now, its been nonstop-lets-bitch-at-heather...and i know its not much, but its pissing me off... and its trivial all my problems... they all are. i dotn know why i'm letting this all get to me, but i am... my moms being a stupid whore...i gotta go....
Posted at 12:29 pm by mestupchick
